Dick Buttonism & Miss America

It's icy outside, and there's not much else to do but watch the Ladies figure skating championships and Miss America pageant. I offer my observations/commentary.

• Dick just compared ladies' figure skating to the process of making a souffle.
• Miss Idaho has a lazy eye.
• The Miss America contestants are all introducing themselves - "I'm so and so, representing..."- and wearing JEANS!!! I am not sure there has ever been a pair of jeans on the MAP before. "The new image of Miss America"
• And, uhm, they split them up by similar characteristics. The "grown ups" (oldest contestants) are in purple. I missed why some are in light pink, green, baby blue (blue man group?), dark blue (states w/the best record of winning) and red (Brown eyed group). ?? uhm, Why??
• Oh dear. This just just wrong. Just so, so very wrong. They're going to make the eliminated contestants sit on the stage and watch the remaining women. Kinda like the scripps spelling bee.
  
• It's ice dancing right now... I just, well, can't get past the corniness.
• The semi-finalists... Misses Michigan, who can't ride a bike, and is wearing the biggest earrings I have ever seen in my life, Iowa, North Carolina, Tennessee, California, whose life is an open book, Indiana who isn't afraid to get her hands dirty, South Carolina, Georgia who has quite a thick accent, Washington !! also wearing rather large earrings and kinda mumbling, Arkansas whose life ambition is to own a Krispy Kreme franchise and eat what she wants, Virginia who can put her foot behind her head, Texas !! who wants to be a talk show host like Kelly Rippa, Wisconsin, Florida who has to watch cartoons to fall asleep, and Mississippi who says she represents intelligence to America.
  
• Oh, and America got to "save" someone through online voting - so the 16th semi-finalist is Miss Utah.
  
• They literally just offered carbohydrates to the eliminated contestants.
• Oh dear, Samuelson and Bates are in neon aqua blue - even Bate's skates are screaming aqua blue. The ruffles diagonal across the back of his unitard kinda look like an apron. And, well, he's just a little too happy.
  
• I won't comment on the swimsuit competition. I really don't get how this really helps determine who best deserves a scholarship.
• Oh dear, Miss Washington's bottoms are, well, not really pulled up all the way
• Miss Arkansas just slipped.
• Note to skaters: The ice dancers wearing the most elegant outfits won. No ruffles...
  
• Okay - not cool - rather than announce the folks going on to the next round of the MAC, they're announcing individual losers. Egad. What about their self-esteem? Poor Miss Utah got ousted again. And each time they announce an eliminated contestant the audience moans and the remaining contestants cry. Kinda puts a damper on the whole thing.
  
• The 14 year old winner of the ladies figure skating short program wore a screaming pre-teen pink, shimmery, flower covered outfit like you'd find at Claire's with bloomers that are a titch too red and clash. But she is "really, really happy with my performance...

Well, I think you get the idea.