Smoothie Catastrophe

After rehab last week I am determined to eat healthy and flush the DDP toxins out of my system. One key component to this is to drink a smoothie each day. Fruit, protein powder, kelp, you know. Today I decided that I should add fiber to this endeavor - according to PBS you can never get too much fiber. So I went to toxin free Whole Foods and bought some vanilla flavored psyllium husks. YUHHHHMEEE. And so when I woke the neighbors this morning with my super loud blender, I tossed in a couple of tablespoons of psyllium husks.

I know what you're thinking the catastrophe is - and no, it's not that. I was feeling so good about myself, all excited to drink my smoothie while watching the hill demolition this morning - but when I put the straw into it - I knew something was horribly, horribly wrong. Namely I could barely get the straw through it. I mean, I saw the psyllium fizzing a bit when I poured in the antioxidant rich green tea into the blender - but I figured it was nothing. I am lucky the damn thing didn't explode. Those husks, well, I guess like any soluble fiber, simply sucked up all of the liquid in the smoothie and, well, expanded and congealed. Suck as I might, I could not get even a strawful of smoothie out. So I walked around with it upside down - just a little party trick - at work - so I suppose it's not a party - but just pretend, okay?. I mean, it was like glue. Even blizzards eventually drop out of their cups. Don't believe me? Try it. But then you don't get to eat your blizzard, which is a shame - unless you don't mind eating off the floor - but I wouldn't really recommend that if you're still at the dairy queen. Those floors - well, I guess if you really want to, go ahead. But when I tried it, the blizzard just ended up tasting like fry oil and bleach. A good blizzard is a terrible thing to waste.