What is it with sour, closed-off Seattle-ites? I have been here 11 years now and it still gets to me. Why can't people here smile when you smile at them? I mean, would it kill them? Perhaps.
Even in my usually friendly West Seattle - this morning I was at the gym and I don't think one single person, besides the lifeguard, smiled back at me. Most look back like I'm crazy, or like one woman in the locker room, like I was frightening. She wouldn't divert her gaze as she walked past me to her locker - just stared at me, a rather skeptical and wary. Granted, I can look a little scary when I've been sweating, but not that scary. And it's not like I'm smiling some weird smile (I don't think) - I just make eye contact and try to acknowledge they exist.
But there's this blank, cold stare back - it's like, enough to give one a complex. And it's been like this most of my years here. It's hard to be acknowledged as human and existing here, much less engaged with on any level, much less be let into a community, much less create community. I mean I'm sure some of it is me - it doesn't seem like folks necessarily flock to me - I guess that's the down side to being mostly introverted. But a large part of this seems cultural here. And I've spent a large, much larger than I'd like, amount of time trying to make sense of this. Swedish/Nordic influence, huge influx of people moving in to get away from somewhere else, the lack of sunlight, different social norms, large urban city, lack of trust in one another, too much random crime, etc. But it still, in the end, doesn't make it okay. We need to feel related to others in this world to have hope and feel worthwhile. It just really sucks that so many people in this city deny one another that basic human acknowledgement.
There's even a name for it. The "Seattle Freeze."
3 comments:
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I live in Austin, Texas, another city like Seattle that has a reputation for a liberal, cosmopolititan culture. And I find that not many people are very friendly in Austin. I try smiling at people or just meeting eyes with a slight smile and I find that they usually just ignore me or even glare at me. Some people have glared at me so ferociously I feared they might attack me. Oddly the most unfriendly places, I find, are the places that are quintessentially Austin, the quirky, out-of-the-mainstream spots that give cities like Austin and Seattle their charm. I find that if I'm in a Burger King at noon on a weekday with mainly working people who could care less about Austin culture, it's somewhat of a less icy atmosphere.
Funny, I grew up in Austin, and half the folks who read this blog are Austinites. I've heard others say Austin is changing - it's gotten a lot bigger since I've moved. I imagine that breeds disconnection.
What do you think, you Austinites? Are folks there less friendly than they used to be?
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