Saturday, July 21, 2007

Theoretical Hypotheses for Slower Pace of Life in Austin

1. Prolonged exposure to heat and humidity in excess of 3 months results in swelling of the brain that inhibits the functioning of intramotoral cortices.

2. Traffic signal planners incorporate excessively long stop lights (4+ minutes) to a) ensure sufficient time to listen to soothing folk music and b) to promote mid-commute napping.

3. It's such a big city and state that the "no-town" areas between cities, "no-building" areas between in-city buildings, and the repetitive fast food signage induces hypnotic restful states.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Or the obvious: Starbucks every other block rather than every block, resulting in slightly less caffeinated society, which manifests itself as an exponentially slower pace. Sort of like the Matrix.

Missed you on Friday.

hutchbec said...

Ah gees, how could I have overlooked that one. Does that mean Texans can fly through the air in super slow motion?

Anonymous said...

No, no...the Texans are the goobers living in the reality created by their machine overlords (wow, the political parallels are stunning, aren't they?) The Seattlities are the ones that "move like they do." You have the raincoats already, right?