Given cyclists are dropping like flies over yonder at the Tour de France, I figure I have as good a shot as any at winning. Me and my hybrid commuter bike with the cushy, spring loaded seat, upright handlebars, and the little bell that goes "chi-ching" whenever I go over something bumpy. It'll chi-ching uncontrollably during all of those laps on the cobblestone road around the big fountain on the last day. It'll also probably take me about 4 days to go up one of those mountains - and I'll probably walk 90% of it, stopping to eat a little picnic at the top - but my doping tests will come back clean.
Truth be known, I really just want one of those cute stuffed bears you get on the podium after winning a stage.
Anyone want to join me?
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